The Value of Holiday Traditions

By , SparkPeople Blogger
When you think back to the holidays of your childhood what comes to mind? What memories come first? For me there are so many but the first are always the things that were considered traditions and part of each year's celebrations.

Traditions create an identity for a family or a group of people. For example, football fans enjoy the tradition of watching the Detroit Lions or Dallas Cowboys play each Thanksgiving afternoon. Once Thanksgiving is over and you hear a bell ringing around town, you expect to see a red kettle and someone representing The Salvation Army.

Traditions are held practices, customs, beliefs, or values handed down from one generation to the next. Through the oral tradition, much cultural and historical information was passed down through generations. Much of the information was captured once a written language was established. Thoughts, stories, and ideas common to a group of people that have been tested to be enjoyable or reliable tend to continue and while those that are not fall away. Children learn by repetition and thrive in the predictability of routine. When they have participated in an activity or routine several times, they come to expect them, which helps reduce anxiety from the unknown and unexpected. Traditions keep loved ones alive in our hearts and minds when they are away from us and create a special bond for years to come. Many of the happy experiences we remember as we age come when we revisit the memories of routines and traditions we enjoyed in our youth. It isn't difficult to establish traditions with neighbors, family and friends. Here are some ideas to help you make the most of your time together this holiday season.

Make the Practical Special and Fun - Decorating the home can be a big task just like preparing the food. These are areas you can establish traditions that get the work finished while creating lasting memories of time spent together. Cooking the meal creates the perfect chance to talk and "catch up" on all the stories and activities you just never seem to have time to share. I have a friend that looks forward to Thanksgiving because she and her mother and sister spend the day together in the kitchen preparing the meal while talking and laughing with one another. Her young daughter is now joining in and they are passing the tradition on to her. If you and your friends love the Black Friday madness, maybe going out together to laugh and giggle during the early morning hours as you check things off your gift list is a great tradition to accomplish multiple tasks. Some families have decorating traditions that allow them to have fun while transforming their home inside and out. When I was growing up, we would always go to my grandparents and help set up their lighted Nativity scene they placed on their enclosed front porch. I can still remember grabbing the paper towels and Windex each year to shine the fake jewels that adorned the Magi. When our children were small, we started the tradition of having a Christmas tree decorating party. They help us decorate the tree while enjoying favorite snack foods followed by snuggling up on the couch together to enjoy a beloved Christmas movie. As teens, they still insist on having our traditional party. Our daughter will be going away to college next year and has already informed us that we can't have the decorating party without her.

Serve Others to Help Brighten Their Holidays - Serving others is a wonderful way to give back in recognition for all the blessings we enjoy. Many people would be blessed if we all created a tradition of giving. Perhaps you want to shop together for items to pack a shoebox for a boy and a girl in another country to brighten their holiday. Maybe your family or friends would enjoy working side by side with others in your community on a local Habitat for Humanity project. My grandmother helped start a local Habitat chapter in her community before she developed Alzheimer's disease. She would have loved working side by side with her family to benefit another family. If construction isn't your thing, perhaps serving food is. Locate a food bank or soup kitchen to pack or serve food to help make others holidays more hope filled. Perhaps your family loves to sing. Nothing brightens the day of people at retirement communities or long-term care facilities more than visitors that bring holiday cheer. If your children, niece, or nephews ask about people with signs asking for help as you pass them at an intersection, the holidays are a great time to teach them how to help. Allow children to pack several sack lunches with a peanut butter sandwich, an apple or package of dried fruit and a juice bag and keep them in your car. When the child sees someone asking for help, allow him or her to take one of the prepared meals and offer it with a smile. The joy you will see on all your faces will represent a memory that will last all of you a lifetime.

Incorporate Relevant Religious and Cultural Elements - Religions and cultures are full of tradition and for many families they are the originator of family traditions. One common tradition around the world includes St. Nicholas. Many families recognize St. Nicholas Day on December 6. They may put out shoes or stockings on the eve of his day to awaken the next morning to small gifts, or treats of fruits, cookies, or nuts. This was not a tradition in my home growing up but I learned about it when I went to college. We were instructed to put a shoe outside our door before going to bed on December 5th for St. Nick. In the morning, we would find a piece of fruit and other treat from our dorm coordinator. It was a wonderful college tradition everyone enjoyed. Some of my friends have continued the tradition with their families even today. One of my friends would get new slippers from St Nick each year while she was growing up. She has continued that tradition with her children as well. Whether your family recognizes Santa Lucia Day, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or Three Kings Day, these religious and cultural observances provide many traditions. Growing up in the Christian tradition, our family had an Advent Wreath that we would light each Sunday for four weeks in anticipation of the candlelight service on Christmas Eve after a gathering with my mother's side of the family. With our children, we started having a Christmas Eve Feast (as my daughter started calling it at the age of 2) before attending church. Since we go earlier in the evening, we have plenty of time to put out cookies, milk and carrots (for the reindeer of course!) and then enjoy It's a Wonderful Life together before reading The Night Before Christmas and heading off to bed. Even as teenagers our children still insist on including ALL of our traditions. When I was young, my brothers and I had to sit at the top of the stairs on Christmas morning until our parents had the tree lit, the coffee made, and the camera ready. This is a tradition I have continue with my own children. In our home, Santa brought three gifts for our children just as the Magi did for the Christ child. When our children were younger, they felt slightly cheated because their friends next door celebrate Hanukkah and receive eight gifts. They have many wonderful traditions as well that make their holiday special and memorable.

The Bottom Line

Regardless of whom you celebrate holidays with, there is always room to create traditions that establish memories or strengthen a bond. It is never too late to start holiday routines and traditions but it is also never too late to change them. This is especially true if you have experienced loss or life changes. When I was five years old, my grandfather suddenly passed away during the summer. A friend of the family suggested a way to make the holidays easier was to NOT follow the traditions and do something completely different. That year tradition went out the window and the entire family went to New York City via train and spent an exciting week seeing the sights. The week was capped off watching the Times Square ball drop right past our hotel window. When my grandmother passed away years later right before Thanksgiving, we enjoyed a wonderful family Thanksgiving meal of pizza instead of the traditional dishes she would have prepared. Sometimes knowing when to change traditions or establish new ones is as important as following them. If your life has recently changed either by choice or by circumstance, consider creating new traditions. Many people dread the holidays because the traditions will never be the same. Establishing new traditions can help you look forward to the holidays while also preserving the memories of traditions past.

Do you look forward to the holidays or do you dread them? What traditions mean the most to you and what new traditions do you think would be good to establish?