In past lives, Dean Anderson has been a social worker, small business owner, college psychology and philosophy instructor, and world-class couch potato who weighed close to 400 pounds, smoked three packs and drank two six-packs of beer per day, and considered chocolate-peanut butter fudge a well-balanced meal. In this life, Dean earned a personal training certification from ACE, received training as a lifestyle and weight management consultant, and began working for SparkPeople. He writes about attitude adjustment, motivation, men's health, and senior fitness. When not sitting in front of his computer, he can usually be found hiking or biking (he's the bald guy that everyone else is passing).
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Alone for the Holidays?
I’m going to be spending Christmas day alone, for the first time in quite a while. My granddaughter and her adults are heading south to visit her mom’s family this year, and my other kids are heading to Montana to visit their mom. I was invited to go along but decided to stay home this year.
Surprisingly, I’m actually looking forward to it.
The last time this happened, I spent my time with my head full of all those images you see in the media about how Christmas is “supposed” to be: smiling families all gathered around an elaborately laid out banquet, opened packages stacked up under the tree, kids playing with their toys, lovers sipping wine and gazing into each other’s eyes while a fire blazes in the fireplace. And there I was, all alone and wondering what was wrong with me that I was missing the boat.
Well, not this year.
Posted 12/25/2008 6:12:50 AM By: : 175 comments 13,202 views
Improve Your Mood with This 2-Minute Exercise
Would you be willing to spend two minutes doing a special exercise that could improve your mood and make your life a little (or a lot) easier?
No, this isn’t a gimmick that will get you off the hook for the kind of exercise that makes you breathe hard and sweat a lot. You’ll still have to do that. And it’s not going to make it a breeze to pass up temptations and stick to your food plan.
But this exercise might help you appreciate and enjoy these things–and the rest of your daily duties--a lot more, and avoid feeling sorry for yourself.
Posted 12/16/2008 12:09:25 PM By: : 345 comments 26,120 views
Holiday Gifts for Book Lovers
The general theme for my holiday gift list this year is holistic health. Obviously, there is lots of stuff out there about the traditional notion of holistic health as a “mind/body/spirit” approach to taking care of yourself. The core idea behind this notion of holistic is that you can’t separate and treat your physical body and its needs as something separate from your mental, emotional, social, and spiritual life. Whether your concern is losing weight, getting more fit, improving your appearance, extending your life span, or managing various medical conditions, your success will depend on addressing all of your needs as a whole person, rather than relying on pills, gimmicks, diets, or any other one-dimensional approach.
Like most people who have struggled with weight and eating issues for a long time, I’m totally convinced that this holistic approach makes the most sense. I know that the real problem, for me, was never just what or how much I ate—it was why I used food and eating the way I did. And changing that meant changing the way I felt and thought about myself, other people, the world around me, and what really matters to me. Once I started working on these things directly, my relationship with food, eating and exercise was very much easier to manage.
But one thing I’ve been thinking a lot about recently is that it’s very easy to get caught up in an extremely individualistic approach to being holistic, focusing entirely on individual needs and what’s good for us as individuals. That's pretty much the focus of most commercial products, services, and information on the subject.
But the whole in holistic doesn’t stop at the edge of your skin, and I think that many of my past and present emotional and practical problems have a lot to do with being disconnected from the natural world, and with social relationships that are more dehumanizing than growth enhancing. As the Taoists like to say, "As above, so below." If your external connections aren't in good shape, what's going on inside your skin won't be either.
So, several of the items on my list are books that I’ve found very helpful in trying to understand these “external” connections and their role in a healthy lifestyle better, and open myself up to new ways of actually being in the world. Some are “theoretical” (but not overly academic or technical), and some are poetry or literature that evocatively convey something about what’s possible for humans to achieve, if we give ourselves the right opportunities and keep our eyes and minds open.
And, of course, there are also a few books for the foodies and exercise enthusiasts on your shopping list, and as always, something for the person who already has everything.
Posted 12/11/2008 5:00:00 PM By: : 44 comments 9,222 views
Gift-Giving: Is It Really the Thought That Counts?
Have you ever had one of those awkward moments where the gift you gave didn’t compare very well to the one you got?
Maybe your gift was a lot cheaper than the one you got, or vice-versa. Or the present you gave was very nice, but pretty impersonal, while the gift you got was obviously selected with a lot of care and thought.
I can still vividly remember quite a few times when a gift I thought was pretty cool got me in the doghouse, for reasons I didn't understand. Maybe this happens to men more often than women, but it definitely takes a lot of the fun out of gift giving for everyone.
If you have a few of these bad experiences in your gift-giving history, the upcoming holidays might be a real source of anxiety and trepidation. Are you going to blow it again? How do you figure out what gift to give? You can’t go overboard just to make sure your present is the best, because that will make the other person just as uncomfortable as you are when your gift is the “inferior” one. Somehow, you have to figure out how to get it just right, and that can be pretty stressful.
Sure, people may say “it’s the thought that counts,” and act like it’s no big deal when a gift comes up a bit flat. And usually, that’s what we actually want to believe.
But obviously this is one of those situations where our thoughts and our feelings aren’t playing by the same rules. Mismatched gifts often do make people uncomfortable. What’s going on here?
Posted 12/9/2008 7:00:00 PM By: : 103 comments 20,569 views
True Confessions: I like watching TV. Do You?
I’m pretty sure that, as a professional lifecoach, certified personal trainer, trained psychologist and semi-professional philosopher, I’m not supposed to admit this in public. But the fact is that I actually like watching TV. And not the highbrow stuff. I like a lot of regular, run of the mill network shows, like House, Grey’s Anatomy, Fringe, Law & Order: CI, and Eleventh Hour. I can’t wait for the season premiere of 24.
I frequently spend two hours or more watching TV. I don't go hunting for something to watch and don't watch game shows, “reality” shows, or re-runs. But I do try to catch my favorites each week, and there's usually one or two on most nights of the week. I usually do some of my strength training while watching and make up for any cardio exercise I might have missed that day. And this time slot also frequently doubles as my time for keeping up with the latest news and research in my fields.
Just last night, for example, I was happily multitasking by watching House and simultaneously reading this review of some recent research showing that unhappy people watch more TV than happy people.
Which, of course, made me wonder whether I’m not as happy as I think I am, or whether my two hours is enough to gradually push me into the unhappy group. Or whether this research should just be filed away under “psychobabble.”
Posted 12/4/2008 6:52:45 PM By: : 291 comments 32,655 views
5 Strength Training Exercises You Should NEVER Do
Warning! This list may be controversial, so feel free to disagree. I imagine that, for many people, several of the exercises on my personal DON'T DO list may be on your favorites list–and one, in particular, is probably on almost every gym rat’s favorite list.
But I think the following five exercises all have problems that make them worth avoiding for the general fitness enthusiast. Either the exercise isn’t nearly as effective as alternates you could do instead, which means it’s wasting precious time, or it may actually increase your risk of fairly common injuries or problems.
So, here’s the list, counting down from No.5 to No.1, along with some better alternatives. Are any on your list of regular exercises?
Posted 12/2/2008 5:00:00 PM By: : 118 comments 39,868 views
Laughter May Really Be the Best Medicine
Have you heard the one about the Indian yogi who teaches laughing yoga?
At first glance, this "fake" laughing seems more weird than funny, but it's apparently no joke. More than a few serious scientists have been looking into the physical effects of laughter, and have found that not only does it feel good, it’s very good for your health.
You don’t even need a sense of humor to reap the health benefits of laughing. If you’re the sort who finds it hard to spontaneously break out in a major belly laugh, you can always try a little “non-humor-dependent aerobic laughter” (leave it to the scientists to come up with a name like that!). If you're not exactly sure how to do it, you could join one of the 5000+ laughter clubs that have sprung up around the world to teach people how to do aerobic laughing, also known as laughter yoga.
Seriously. Classes are led by certified laughter teachers like Gail Robinson, who teaches laughter yoga in Sutton’s Bay, Michigan, and has this to say about it...
Posted 11/27/2008 4:54:25 PM By: : 66 comments 9,244 views
How Do You Handle Holiday Temptations?
For many of us, the next 5 weeks are going to be filled with many opportunities to overeat and skip exercise sessions. And when you combine all these temptations with the emotional stress of the holiday season, it can take an almost heroic effort to keep your healthy lifestyle on track.
What’s the best way to handle this situation? Do you identify the specific temptations that you think might cause problems for you, and try to figure out strategies for resisting them?
Not according to experts who study this problem. They suggest you do the exact opposite...
Posted 11/25/2008 10:30:00 AM By: : 69 comments 7,877 views
What's Hot and What's Not: The Latest Tips on Mental Health for Men & Seniors
What's HOT
In a previous blog entry, I mentioned some research that showed how keeping your mind active with reading, puzzles, games, and other such activities can help reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease and dementia, and slow down the general cognitive decline associated with aging.
Now, there's some new evidence indicating that web-surfing may be even more beneficial than these other activities. Find out how you can help yourself by surfing the web in the right way.
What's NOT
It's been known for a long time that constant bombardment with media images of sexualized women with "perfect" bodies can be bad for the body image and self-esteem of women--especially young women. Now some new research shows these same images can have very similar effects on men. Find out why you may want to think twice before you reach for the latest issue of Maxim or Men's Health.
Posted 11/20/2008 6:22:23 AM By: : 21 comments 9,077 views
The Blame Game Is Not Your Friend. Activate Your Healthy Lifestyle Conscience Instead.
Everybody loves to play the blame game.
If there’s a problem, it’s got to be somebody’s fault, right? So, let’s figure out whose fault it is, and get that person straightened out, right now! Or at least make sure the finger's not pointing at us. Playing the blame game is one of our favorite indoor sports–right up there with gossiping about celebrities and/or the neighbors, and everyone’s perennial favorite: sex.
When it comes to obesity, there are plenty of ways to play the blame game, and they all can get pretty nasty...
Posted 11/18/2008 12:34:48 PM By: : 30 comments 8,223 views
Zero Waste? What do you think?
So, yesterday I hauled all my empty bottles, cans, and newspapers off to the local recycling center. It took me three round trips on my bike and about two hours, so I was feeling quite virtuous and proud of myself. Until I got home and ran across this email in my inbox:
Celebrate Zero Waste Day.
According to these people, my valiant efforts may be part of the problem, not part of the solution....
Posted 11/13/2008 12:15:41 PM By: : 123 comments 14,330 views
Having a Hard Time with Exercise? Just Shut Up for a Minute
Are you having a hard time getting yourself to exercise, because you just don’t like it very much?
Well, you’re not alone.
Most people who’ve been sedentary for awhile have a hard time getting started with exercise because it’s physically uncomfortable at first. The more out of shape you are, the harder it can be to get yourself up and moving. In most cases, this initial discomfort doesn’t last too long--especially if you start slowly and give your body a chance to adjust in stages instead of trying to run a marathon right away or recapture the glories of your youth overnight. With a little perseverance, patience, and experimentation, most people are able to find some form of exercise they enjoy enough to do it regularly.
But according to this article, some people find it very hard to get past the feeling that exercise is just too unpleasant or difficult for them.
I was one of those people for many years myself. My feet and ankles hurt even when I was just taking a slow walk, I broke out into a major (and embarrassing) sweat with the slightest activity, even in the cold winters of northern Montana, and I felt like a one-person traveling freak show if anyone saw me trying to exercise. I can’t even remember how many times I started a new exercise plan, got frustrated, and stopped again within a few days.
These days, things are very different. I get frustrated when I have to miss my daily dose of bike riding and/or hiking around in the hills or sand dunes. And this change didn’t happen just because I lost a bunch of weight and the exercise got easier.
In fact, it was the other way around. I lost weight because the exercise got easier. And that happened because I told myself to just shut up for a minute.
Posted 11/11/2008 6:00:00 AM By: : 97 comments 22,573 views
Announcing A New Service for Our Bravest Readers: Ask Coach Toughlove
Sometimes information, support, friendly advice, or sympathy just aren't enough. When you're stuck in a vicious circle of unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you might need a good, firm kick in the butt to get yourself out of it.
But it has to be the right kind of kick. Getting flamed or ridiculed for doing something dumb isn't going to help--it's not like you don't already know that what you're doing isn't working for you. And getting told to "just do it" isn't going to work either--if you could do that, you would have already.
Most of the time, the real problem is that you're just not seeing yourself or what you're doing very clearly. You're not noticing how a particular way of thinking is getting in your way, or how your negative feelings are being generated by your own behavior. Until you can see what's going on, you'll stay stuck, because you can't learn anything from your own problems, and you won't know how to focus your energy and effort effectively enough to actually change things.
That's where a little toughlove can come in handy...
Posted 11/6/2008 4:58:14 PM By: : 41 comments 6,451 views
When Lifestyles Clash...How do You Handle It?
So, your lifestyle makeover is coming along nicely. You’ve established a good working relationship with your Inner Cookie Monster, and discovered your Inner Athlete. Your fitness is improving steadily, your weight is going down, and you’re feeling pretty good about the way things are going.
Except for one thing. Your new lifestyle seems to be generating some conflicts with significant others in your life. Maybe someone is feeling neglected because your daily workout is getting in the way of your cuddling on the couch time. Maybe you’ve been hoping that some of your healthy new habits would rub off on your significant other, but that’s just not happening. Or your friends are giving you a bad time (or a cold shoulder) because you’ve stopped playing by the old rules all of a sudden.
Maybe these problems have already gotten more serious. You’re starting to feel like others are actually out to sabotage your efforts, or your significant other is seriously wondering whether all these changes mean you’re not going to be satisfied with him/her anymore, and might start looking for another relationship. Maybe you’re wondering about that yourself.
What do you do when problems like this come up?
Posted 11/4/2008 5:31:31 PM By: : 78 comments 13,605 views
Finally! The Diet to End All Diets!
Are you a chronic yo-yo dieter? Have you tried every diet you’ve ever heard of, and never found one you can actually stick to long enough to reach your goal? Are you fed up with complicated rules, theories, and gimmicks that are “guaranteed” to solve your weight problems once and for all–but never do?
Well, I’ve got just the thing for you: a diet plan that you literally can’t fail at, even if you try.
Posted 10/30/2008 5:46:52 AM By: : 170 comments 19,751 views
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